1. Understanding Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships
1. Understanding Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships
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Define healthy & unhealthy relationships, identify their characteristics and differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationships
Define healthy & unhealthy relationships, identify their characteristics and differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationships
Every day, we meet a variety of people. Some we interact with very often, and with some people not so much. We are, for example, usually quite connected to our family and friends. We talk with them and share our thoughts and emotions.
We may not be as close to neighbours who are living two lanes away from us. We may smile or say "hello," but we may not know much about them.
So how do we decide which relationships are healthy and meaningful in our lives? And how can we avoid unhealthy relationships that do not benefit us?
In this domain, we will learn in detail about having safe and healthy relationships & avoiding those that are unhealthy for us.
Do you remember what we learnt about who is a trusted adult and the importance of trust in our relationships in grade 3?
Here’s a quick recap:
A trusted adult is somebody whose words and actions make you feel safe and comfortable1.
A trusted adults actions and words can be1:
Now that we understand who is a trusted adult and trust helps us to strengthen our relationships with others, let us learn to understand what a healthy relationship entails & how to maintain one!
A healthy relationship is a two-person partnership based on respect, safety, comfort and trust2.
Learning to value, respect and trust one another is an essential part of having healthy friendships and relationships.
Some key components of a healthy relationship are:
People respect one another for who they are.
People may disagree with one another. However, with kindness and trust, they may express their feelings and work things out.
In a healthy relationship, people would only do what feels comfortable to them, will say no to what isn’t feeling comfortable and feel comfortable in sharing their views, emotions and ideas without feeling scared3.
A healthy relationship should feel4:
Giving and receiving compliments - “ You are so smart and intelligent!”
Offering invitations - “ Let’s play together or do an activity together.”
Trusting each others’ boundaries - “I don’t feel like playing right now, I wish to read instead.5”
Positive well-being and reduced stress are two advantages of having healthy relationshipst5.
Story Time:
They had a picnic meal in a clearing. Uncle Anil listened intently as Revati told him about her dreams and school experiences, his eyes full of compassion and care.
They arrived at a beautiful waterfall after lunch.
Uncle Anil replied with a smile. We listen, share, and help one another."
"How is it like a walk, Uncle Anil?" Revati asked.
"Just as we explore the woods, we explore each other's thoughts and feelings," Uncle Anil added. We are friendly, attentive, and enjoy each other's company."
Revati, a curious fourth-grader, had a close relationship with her Uncle Anil. Uncle Anil would take her on a fascinating walk in the close woodlands every year. Uncle Anil was well-known for his love of nature and his ability to tell stories.
Revati and Uncle Anil set out on their annual adventure one beautiful morning. Uncle Anil led them down the meandering road, pointing out plants and creatures that piqued Revati's curiosity.
Uncle Anil taught Revati how to skip stones, and they laughed together. Revati felt safe with her uncle at those times.
They found a comfortable area to rest as the sun started to go down. "You know, Revati, our relationship is like this walk,"
Revati had a moment of learning. She realised that her annual walks with Uncle Anil were more than just natural adventures; they were bonding experiences. Their safe relationship was founded on trust, respect, and shared experiences.
Revati was thankful for Uncle Anil on the way back. Their hikes represented a healthy relationship—exploring, understanding, and appreciating each other's presence. Uncle Anil's encouragement and genuine interest were the glue that held their relationship together.
Revati's relationship with Uncle Anil in this story is defined by shared respect, active listening, and mutual support. Their hikes exemplified the essence of a healthy relationship: spending time together to discover, understand, and cherish one another.
Let us watch a Video Healthy friendship and relationship6
Vid 1.1: Healthy friendships and relationships
An unhealthy relationship is one in which we feel unsafe, uncared for, unloved, and uncomfortable. We may be forced or pressured into doing things we don't want to do, forced to behave in a specific way, or made to feel like we're not good enough7.
Here are some key characteristics of unhealthy relationships:
When someone resents you (holds a grudge) because you spend time with other people or you accomplish something.
When someone is constantly trying to be with you and does not give you any personal space.
When someone yells or screams at you.
When two people are always fighting.
When someone does not consider your feelings and does not appear to care when you are sad or angry.
When someone does not accept responsibility for their actions and instead places blame on you.
When someone intimidates and manipulates you in order to persuade you to do something you do not want to do.
When you are physically harmed by someone8.
By now, we can understand what is the essence of a healthy and an unhealthy relationship.
Here are some key differences:
Let’s watch a video to recap of all about healthy and unhealthy friendships and relationships10.
Vid 1.2 What is Quality Friendship & Why is it Important?
Summary:
When people treat each other with kindness, listen to each other's feelings, and help each other feel happy and respected, they are in a healthy relationship.
When people are mean or disrespectful to one other, don't listen, or make each other feel sad, anxious or unimportant, they are in an unhealthy relationship.
People in a healthy relationship are kind, empathetic, and supportive. People in an unhealthy relationship may be harsh, hurtful, or unconcerned with one other's feelings.
References:
References:
1. Who is a Trusted Adult? Missing Kids, (n.d.) Link
2. Healthy Relationships: Definition, Why They’re Good for You, and How to Foster Them. Everyday Health, 2023, link
3. Healthy Friendships and Relationships. Connecticut Advocate’s Corner, (n.d.), link
4. What friendship should feel like? Elise Gravel, (n.d.), link
5. How to Teach Children About Healthy Relationships. High-Speed Training, 2021, link
6. Healthy Friendships and Relationships [Student Wellbeing]. Muse Wellbeing, 2022, link
7. Healthy and unhealthy relationships. NSPCC Learning, 2021, link
8. Relationships. The Canadian Centre for Children, (n.d.), Link
9. Healthy vs Unhealthy Friendships for KIDS. Teachers Pay Teachers, (n.d.), link
10. Friends - Friendships. Career and Life Skills Sessions, 2021, link
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